Continual State of Becoming

Just wanted to share what motivates me.  It's NOT someone yelling at me and telling me that I can't do something, or I'm not doing it well enough so I need to try harder.  I know a lot of people feel motivated by that (to prove someone wrong), but I don't.  I just completely shut down.  It didn't work while I was learning piano and it definitely doesn't work when I exercise.  I need encouragement and sense of accomplishment.  So instead of "Come on I know you can do this, you just need to try harder" I need "wow, look at all you've already done, great job!"  And then I'll work harder, and I'll push myself...  So here is what runs through my mind as I'm running these days... First off, my goals: -Most important is that I want to be healthy.  After putting on a big amount of weight very suddenly while pregnant (which I know is normal and fine), I realized that I do NOT like the way I feel when I'm carrying extra weight....

Our home has been hit by the stomach bug.  It's not pretty, it's not fun.  So far I've been spared, but I figure that's just because I'm the mom and I have to take care of everyone else while they're sick.  Then they all get better, and that's when it hits me.  That's how these things tend to work, right?  Fortunately, we are a pretty healthy family so we haven't had to do this often.  We get random colds here and there, but we haven't had anything quite like this yet.  In fact, prior to yesterday, Dylan hasn't thrown up since he was about 9 months old.   So we've bunkered down at home and have been taking it easy, watching lots of cartoons all week. I'm not sure which sick person is worse...  There's the 11 month old who has no idea what is going on, could be in pain or aching and not able to communicate it (other than crying), and who has no way of warning you before he gets sick.  Then there's the 5 year old who knows he...

I miss playing piano.  I just don't really get the opportunity any more.  I have probably only played 3 or 4 times since Aaron was born, not counting the little bits here and there when I'm teaching my weekly lesson.  But right now, it's just too hard to work into my regular schedule for two big reasons:  1- It's hard to play when Aaron is awake, because he likes to crawl all over me, whine, and generally do his best to distract me, and 2- I can't play when he's asleep because I do NOT want to wake him up.  I have an upright piano, it's loud and there's no barrier between where the piano is and his room, other than his closed door which just isn't enough.  So I pretty much have to wait until there are no kids in the house, which doesn't happen often (I'm thinking maybe 3 or 4 times in the last year).  So right now I'm going through piano withdrawal.  I know it's temporary though, one happy day I'll get back into it. While on my ...

So apparently I couldn't follow through with my 3 posts a week goal.  I tried to write posts a few times and ended up deleting them.  I am totally stuck with what to write about.  It used to be little stories from my day or interesting things I stumbled upon.  But now my day is consumed with small children things.  Not exactly the most fascinating subject (and I am all too well aware of how less interesting it is to people other than my kid's parents).  So I'm just not sure where that leaves my blog.  Do I turn into a Mommy Blogger??  I guess in some ways yes.  This blog has always been intended to show my growth and talk about who I am and who I'm becoming.  And being a mom is a HUGE part of who I am.  So despite my best intentions of not turning this into a blog all about the cute things my kids did today (because let's face it, my kids ONLY do cute things-- I saw while Aaron whines away in his high chair next to), I think it may ...

I've pretty much given up on sleep. I am still up with Aaron 2-3 times a night.  Actually 4 times last night.  I'm exhausted all the time.  If I hadn't had to do this with Dylan, I would be a mess.  But this time around I decided I wouldn't complain about lack of sleep.  Occasionally things get too much and I need a nap, but for the most part, I keep chugging away.  But I am TIRED. Doesn't really matter though.  I got up early today, before the kids (who are super early risers, so that's quite a feat) and now I'm going for a run.

I'm a big fan of different seasons.  Each has it's unique identity, it's pros and cons.  We are finally out of the cold weather months and heading into warm and eventually hot weather.  But it's not just which clothes we put on that is affected by the seasons... I've come to realize that seasonal changes affect many facets of our lives. Clothes of course.  I'm currently switching out my winter and summer wardrobes.  Bonus:  I am pulling out my pre-baby summer clothes and laughing at how enormous my shorts from last summer are!  I like swapping out my closet every 6 months because I can't stand to have lots of clothes to sift through in the morning when I'm getting dressed.  The smaller my wardrobe, the happier I am.  Though I still need to work on having a good wardrobe, but that's a different issue. Music:  The next big shift I notice this time of year.  Time to put away classical, indie rock, and mellow laid back stuff.  ...

So this year I've decided to do monthly resolutions instead of vague general "for the year" resolutions.  A lot of them are little things, and a lot of them aren't even begun until the middle of the month.  But I figure that's better than nothing.  I've struggled with a good April resolution until this morning... "I should get back into my blog!"  So here I am.  April resolution begun...  hopefully 3 posts per week, starting today. I have an overall theme for 2013... Get My Life Back Together.  After the birth our our dear sweet Aaron last year, my life kind of fell apart.  And by kind of, I mean, COMPLETELY.  Between his nonstop crying for the first 4 months (thank you silent reflux), his constant need to be held by me, his terrible night sleeping (he's still up 2 times a night FYI, but it is faaaar better than it was 3 months ago), and his general unhappy disposition, I just didn't have much in me beyond meeting the basics:  feeding...

Well I know it's been a while since I've updated anything.  But I just had to do my end of the year survey anyway.  So here we go: My annual end of the year survey. 1. What did you do in 2012 that you'd never done before? I've been trying to think of something profound that I did for the first time this year, but I honestly can't think of anything. I did some "firsts" in the kitchen though-- homemade stock comes to mind. Hopefully I'll have something more exciting for next year. 2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I was smart last year and didn't make any because I knew the baby would throw my life out of whack for a while... and he did.  But I need to get things back on track so I'm making a bunch for next year.  Just a few:  start back with yoga and running (exercise again), look into joining a local photo club (work on a hobby to help keep my sane), and get this laundry s...

Our 2012 Christmas cards:  I even took the picture this year! Stationery card View the entire collection of cards.

Well I know it's been a while since I've updated anything.  But I just had to do my end of the year survey anyway.  So here we go: My annual end of the year survey. 1. What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before? Bought a house!  Sold a house.  Started a (small) book club.  Sent my child to preschool. 2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? We cleaned out our storage unit when we moved.  I also started reading a lot more and watching much less TV, except for the 3 months when I had morning sickness and developed a weird aversion to reading.  I won't make any resolutions this year because of the coming new baby... I have a feeling that will keep me plenty busy next year. 3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes, several people, lots of babies this year! 4. Did anyone close to you die? No. 5. What countries did you visit? I should change this to states since we never leave the co...

Favorite break-up song. Jess- Ben Folds Five "Song For the Dumped"  Not even because of the subject of the song (though it was picked because it fits the category for today), but more for the raw sounding angry piano slamming.  I love listening to all the chunky chords, especially in live versions.  I will never be able to play like that. Matt- Cryin' by Roy Orbison. Matt is probably way better at this game than I am.

A song from your favorite movie. So my favorite movie is A Life Less Ordinary.  Not many people have seen it, or even heard of it, despite the fact that it stars Cameron Diaz and Ewan McGregor.  Actually this movie was one of those "things" that Matt and I connected over before we started dating nearly 11 years ago.  We found out that we both really liked the movie and since Matt had it on DVD (whereas I just watched it whenever I managed to catch it on HBO) I went over and watched it with him... just as friends of course ;)  There is actually a decent amount of music in the movie, and we do own the soundtrack.  But picking a song from this movie is so easy, it's got to be Beyond the Sea by Bobby Darin.  In one scene in the movie Cameron Diaz and Ewan McGregor sing this karaoke style and her singing is so awful that it reminds me of what I used to sound like.  Hopefully I've gotten a little better. Oh good, I found the actual movie clip to go al...

Favorite love song. Okay, I find this day a little boring and generic.  And also, I don't know that I REALLY have a favorite love song.  It took me a while to pick one out.  There are just so many to choose from.  But I'm happy with my final selection, but I bet if you asked me this again a year from now I'd have a different answer, which is something I'm trying to avoid while doing this.  Anyway, here is it: First Day of My Life by Bright Eyes I don't find it at all sappy, but it's still sweet.  And (like in the video, which is simple and sweet as well) it makes me think not only of my love for my husband, but also for my child.... and how much happines our little family has brought to my life. Matt:  Agreed, this was kind of an underwhelming question.  But in the end he chose At Last  by Etta James.  Because it's what we danced to at our wedding.  Hard to argue with that.  :)  Here's a great live version. ...

The other day I came across a music related blog in which they referred to this 30 day song thing on Facebook ( 30 Day Song Election Spectacular )  Basically you leave a comment everyday for 30 days naming a song that meets different requirements.  I read through the list and instantly wanted to play.  I even got Matt to play along.  But instead of posting them on the Facebook page where a bunch of strangers could read my choices (and judge me) I decided to do my write ups here.  So let's get started... Day 1- Favorite cover version of a non-obscure song.  Hands down... Johnny Cash's cover of "Hurt" originally by Nine Inch Nails.  It may be somewhat obscure, I don't think the NIN version was a big hit or anything, but this is probably one of the best covers ever, so we're overlooking the slight bit of obscurity.  This song made me a fan of the Man in Black, though oddly enough not of NIN.  It's incredible. He has a lot of really great c...

Routine!  Seriously, this is the only way I'm managing the household at this point.  Everything is part of a routine.  It's the best way to get things done.  I have a fairly simple method to make sure that all the necessary chores are accomplished over the course of the week.  Prior to putting our house on the market my system was simple, effective, and not very time consuming.  But now that the house needs to be show ready by 10 am everyday it's a little more involved, but still manageable, especially now that Eve has had her shedding winter undercoat removed (thank you professionally groomers-- $90 and 8 hours well spent for a little help in that department).  It has taken me quite some time to come up with a routine that works, but I finally did.  Just in time to get ready to move and have to figure out new routines and systems for a new house, but at least now I have a starting point.  So here's a little sample of what my cleaning routine looks like: Every morning:...

This was really good and not at all difficult to make.  The sauce could also be used over pasta.  Im sure I'm not the first person to ever make a roasted tomato sauce like this, but I didn't follow a recipe.  Instead I changed one from a tv show... Chucks Day Off on the Cooking Channel.  He made a smoked tomato-tarragon sauce and it looked really good and simple.  Except I don't have a smoker, so I decided to try and roast it instead.  The first time I made it, the tarragon was a little too powerful, so this time around I used basil instead (figuring it was a more classic pairing).  I liked it much better this way.  It's super easy and quick because you dont have to do much careful chopping (like you would when you make a marinara since it all goes in the processor)  So here's how I made it: 4 medium tomatoes, quartered 1/2 a medium onion, roughly chopped 2 cloves garlic, smashed 3 of the biggest basil leaves I've ever seen in my life Olive oil, salty, pep...

Yay!  I finally figured out how to read Library eBooks on my iPad.  Ive been reading a lot lately and some people have asked me if I'm considering getting a Kindle or Nook or something like that.  But I get nearly all of my books from the library for free.  And as convenient as an eBook reader would be, I just can't justify spending all that money for a device, and then even more money for books. Right now my monthly book budget is right around $0.  It's hard to improve on that.  But one thing I have been waiting for, knowing that it eventually has to happen, is a way to borrow library books on my iPad.  I mean you can borrow eBooks on your computer, but I'm not about to sit at my desk and read a whole book.  How much harder could it be to get the book on my iPad?  Apparently it's not as simple as I think it should be, but it is finally possible.  Unfortunately I only have like 300 books to choose from (stupid DRM), but I'll take what I can get for now, because ...

I cannot begin to describe my frustration with trying to keep the house clean while we are doing showings.  I didn't think it would be that bad because I tend to keep the house fairly clean in general.  But not spotless... because that would drive me insane... and guess what?  It is driving me insane.  Trying to keep a house perfectly spotless and relatively unlived-in looking with a toddler and a husky (in her peak shedding season) is beyond frustrating.  I spent most of today cleaning the house only to have everything I do undone not even 5 minutes later.  Vacuum the living room, Eve walks through and clumps of fur fall onto the carpet.  Put away miscellaneous toys, gadgets, water cups, etc. only to turn around and see that Dylan pulled out his 50 alphabet blocks and spread them evenly throughout the upstairs level, wipe the counters then spill milk all over them.  Ugh.  At least we didn't have any showings today... though I think that's the most frustrating part.  I do a...

As we prepare for a possible move (staying in the same area) I've been thinking about a lot of my previous moves and my take on moving in general.  I moved a lot as a kid... a lot.  Herndon VA was the 11th city I had lived in and at that time I was a sophomore in high school.  My parents still live there, and I still live in the same general area (only about 30 mins away).  It's crazy for me to think that I've lived in this area for nearly 14 years, and that Matt and I have been in the same house for over 7 years. There have been pluses and minuses to moving so much.  I definitely think it had a big impact on the person I am today, for better and worse.  But now that I've finally been in one area long enough I've finally experienced how a stationary place changes over time. For instance:   • Radio stations change their programming.  I didnt know this happened.  Actually I didnt really ever think about it enough to guess that this ever happened.  I still remembe...

Lizards are everywhere outside of my hotel!  Fortunately, not inside, though I wouldn't be surprised if one found it's way in.  Whenever I walk anywhere they all scurry into the bushes. I'm sure Dylan would be in heaven. Harmony's wedding was beautiful :) Of course, I expected no less.  Picture perfect day, the weather wasn't too hot or too cold, there was a nice breeze, it was really perfect.  Followed by a fun and lively reception (thanks in large part to a Latin band).  I'm so glad I was able to make it down here for it.  It also made me think of my own wedding... What a good and perfect day that was as well.  I wish we could get married again, it was fun!  Maybe we'll have to have some kind of vow renewal celebration in the future.  I've made it a good way into my book.  I'm hoping I'll be able to finish it, but it will be close.  Not much else to comment on since the whole point of this mini-vacation was to take advantage of being able t...