Continual State of Becoming

I've been teaching sixth grade this year.  My first year as a teacher.  It's been HARD.  I know that everyone's first year of teaching is known to be hard.  So I was expecting that.  But it's exceeded even my expectations (and my admins expectations) for just how hard it has been.  Challenging in every possible way.  And yet... I was finding my way through, somehow managing to build my classroom community, teach, and actually love what I was doing.  Teaching is not for the faint of heart.  Nor for the slacker.  Believe me when I say, it's by far the hardest thing I've ever done... childbirth included.  And like most things in life (childbirth included), it was good.  I know I was involved in a school that is doing the best it can and making decisions in the best interests of all it's students.  They are supportive of their teachers and families.  They place a HUGE emphasis on the arts, on equity, and on high quality i...

I'm currently a little more than halfway through my intense summer school schedule.  Part of being in a cohort model for my graduate program means that I don't really pick my classes.  They just tell me what I'm taking and when.  And while I have enjoyed being in class with the same group of students, this summer schedule is kind of killing me.  We're taking 12 credits this summer.  12 graduate credits in a VERY condensed manner.  So first of all, 9 credits per semester is full time for grad students (I'm trying hard not to think about the fact that I'll be taking 12 credits in the fall as well).  But I didn't really have a say in it, so here I am, going to school Monday through Friday all day long.  And then coming home and dealing with my crazy no-summer-school kids.  It's been exhausting.  But mostly good. So I haven't really been doing too much other than school work, reading (soooooooooooooo much reading), and taking my kids to th...

As Matt and I kind of switch roles, I've been thinking about starting a new photography project. A few years ago we had some major life changes... a move, career changes, welcoming a new child into the family.  All of which have changed our lives for the better.  I've been back in school for a little over a year now and I'm so glad I decided to do this.  It's added a level of fulfillment and meaning that I have been missing for quite a while.  Part of what allows me to go to school full time while I have 3 kids is that Matt has been staying home with them (which he will continue to do while I am student teaching).  This role reversal (I "work," Matt takes care of the house and kids) comes with some growing pains as we shuffle responsibilities and navigate how to accomplish all.the.things. while not dropping any balls.  Although, two thoughts on that:  1- we can't do all the things, we have to prioritize and let go of whatever doesn't ...

Some photographs I took of our lilacs as they bloomed this year.  This might be the most beautifully scented flower, it's definitely become my favorite.

Happy Mother's Day! I have such a hard time with this day.  I mean, it's really just a commercial holiday, right?  Buy the mothers stuff (flowers, always appreciated) to show your appreciation.  Or maybe you don't even have to buy the mothers stuff.  Maybe you just do something extra to show your appreciation.  On this particular day... what about every other day?  What about doing something that actually shows mothers that we as a society value them?  Instead, we expect mothers to struggle, suffer, and work hard because it is their role... they do it because they care.... and they do.  So that is their reward.  But as a mother who has struggled with her motherly role (which does not in any way reflect the love I have for my family), this idea of "caring should be enough" to get through all the obstacles actually damaged me more than any of the the trials and tribulations (and joy) of the work I do as a mother. We also just went through t...

This is my favorite time of year to take photographs.  Here are just a few from around the yard.