Mother Teacher Nurse Handmaid Power Caring: Some Thoughts
Happy Mother's Day!
I have such a hard time with this day. I mean, it's really just a commercial holiday, right? Buy the mothers stuff (flowers, always appreciated) to show your appreciation. Or maybe you don't even have to buy the mothers stuff. Maybe you just do something extra to show your appreciation. On this particular day... what about every other day? What about doing something that actually shows mothers that we as a society value them? Instead, we expect mothers to struggle, suffer, and work hard because it is their role... they do it because they care.... and they do. So that is their reward. But as a mother who has struggled with her motherly role (which does not in any way reflect the love I have for my family), this idea of "caring should be enough" to get through all the obstacles actually damaged me more than any of the the trials and tribulations (and joy) of the work I do as a mother.
We also just went through teacher appreciation week. I saw tons of posts, articles, and social media messages about how valuable and under appreciated teachers are. And they are... but they do it because they care... they care about the children, about the future, about the very important work they do. Leading up to this week however, I read countless articles about teachers striking en masse throughout the country. Why? Poor pay, poor working conditions, poor benefits... which, by the way, all negatively impact students and the quality of education they receive. But sure, have some flowers and a gift card.
And to finish the trifecta of acknowledging those taken for granted... it was also Nurse Appreciation week... Really? All of these tokens of appreciation for (predominantly) women's work clustered tightly together? Nurses who bare the brunt of the "doing" in hospitals and clinics. Who work long, hard hours, and are paid meagerly compared to the (predominantly) male doctors. They do it because they care. The reward of the work is intrinsic, not monetary... that'd be insulting. So here are some flowers for you as well.
Coincidentally, I happen to have just finished reading The Power by Naomi Alderman and I'm also in the middle of watching season two of The Handmaid's Tale. It's like feminist whiplash to read/watch them at the same time. And it has kept the idea of women's work and place in society at the front of my mind. How women carry the weight of caring work and how society values that in lip service rather than meaningful, livable wages and policies that help women do that important work rather than taking advantage of people who care and get the work done. There's been a lot of push for equal pay for women, which is awesome... I'm thrilled at every bit of progress that's being made. But then I look at careers and professions that are largely dominated by women, and can't help but think that equal pay just isn't enough. Because these professions as a whole are undervalued and under appreciated (is it because traditionally they haven't had men in those careers to pull the value up?). Instead of fighting for equal pay, women in these fields are having to advocate for the validity and value of what they do even though it is literally educating and caring for children, the sick, disabled, and elderly... the vulnerable. Something, by the way, we will all be at various points throughout our lives. I mean, I get it... these aren't huge profit generating fields... But I guess I had hoped that people would value people more than money. Sadly, I think that's what this issue is really about. Those who generate money are more valued than those who care for us.
I don't really have full flushed ideas about this, but I have a lot of emotions about it... rage (Tracy Ellis Ross's TED talk), frustration (Teacher Strikes), sadness (Rise in Maternal Mortality Rate in the US)... and I'm working on hope. Maybe there is a changing tide of how women and caring work will be viewed. But there is a long way to go.
So on this mother's day I'm trying to process what all this means, what action I can take to advocate for women. I'll take the flowers and trinkets I get from those close to me and cherish the love behind the gesture, but at the same time I'll channel these strong emotions into something hopeful and (hopefully) productive. Women have come a long way, but there's still more work to be done.
I have such a hard time with this day. I mean, it's really just a commercial holiday, right? Buy the mothers stuff (flowers, always appreciated) to show your appreciation. Or maybe you don't even have to buy the mothers stuff. Maybe you just do something extra to show your appreciation. On this particular day... what about every other day? What about doing something that actually shows mothers that we as a society value them? Instead, we expect mothers to struggle, suffer, and work hard because it is their role... they do it because they care.... and they do. So that is their reward. But as a mother who has struggled with her motherly role (which does not in any way reflect the love I have for my family), this idea of "caring should be enough" to get through all the obstacles actually damaged me more than any of the the trials and tribulations (and joy) of the work I do as a mother.
We also just went through teacher appreciation week. I saw tons of posts, articles, and social media messages about how valuable and under appreciated teachers are. And they are... but they do it because they care... they care about the children, about the future, about the very important work they do. Leading up to this week however, I read countless articles about teachers striking en masse throughout the country. Why? Poor pay, poor working conditions, poor benefits... which, by the way, all negatively impact students and the quality of education they receive. But sure, have some flowers and a gift card.
And to finish the trifecta of acknowledging those taken for granted... it was also Nurse Appreciation week... Really? All of these tokens of appreciation for (predominantly) women's work clustered tightly together? Nurses who bare the brunt of the "doing" in hospitals and clinics. Who work long, hard hours, and are paid meagerly compared to the (predominantly) male doctors. They do it because they care. The reward of the work is intrinsic, not monetary... that'd be insulting. So here are some flowers for you as well.
Coincidentally, I happen to have just finished reading The Power by Naomi Alderman and I'm also in the middle of watching season two of The Handmaid's Tale. It's like feminist whiplash to read/watch them at the same time. And it has kept the idea of women's work and place in society at the front of my mind. How women carry the weight of caring work and how society values that in lip service rather than meaningful, livable wages and policies that help women do that important work rather than taking advantage of people who care and get the work done. There's been a lot of push for equal pay for women, which is awesome... I'm thrilled at every bit of progress that's being made. But then I look at careers and professions that are largely dominated by women, and can't help but think that equal pay just isn't enough. Because these professions as a whole are undervalued and under appreciated (is it because traditionally they haven't had men in those careers to pull the value up?). Instead of fighting for equal pay, women in these fields are having to advocate for the validity and value of what they do even though it is literally educating and caring for children, the sick, disabled, and elderly... the vulnerable. Something, by the way, we will all be at various points throughout our lives. I mean, I get it... these aren't huge profit generating fields... But I guess I had hoped that people would value people more than money. Sadly, I think that's what this issue is really about. Those who generate money are more valued than those who care for us.
I don't really have full flushed ideas about this, but I have a lot of emotions about it... rage (Tracy Ellis Ross's TED talk), frustration (Teacher Strikes), sadness (Rise in Maternal Mortality Rate in the US)... and I'm working on hope. Maybe there is a changing tide of how women and caring work will be viewed. But there is a long way to go.
So on this mother's day I'm trying to process what all this means, what action I can take to advocate for women. I'll take the flowers and trinkets I get from those close to me and cherish the love behind the gesture, but at the same time I'll channel these strong emotions into something hopeful and (hopefully) productive. Women have come a long way, but there's still more work to be done.
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