A Little Bolder

So I recently did this:  Finding My Light

It's a Facebook page for some of my favorite photographs.  But more than that it's an attempt to figure out what it is I'm doing with photography in the first place.  It started as a way to document my kids, but since half the photos I now take have nothing to do with my children, it must be serving some other role.  My guess is that it's filling a void that was left when I  gave up music (not 100%, just as a serious pursuit, which, by the way, I have no regrets over doing).  Most likely, it's the creative void that I'm seeking to fill.  And I actually feel like I'm having more success at doing this with photography then I ever did with music.

It's also sharing a big part of who I am and what I am working through with photography.  The daily struggles of life, and the larger life struggles along with it.  I feel like creating my own personal images, while not perfect, has really helped me connect with myself and the world around in me in a better way.  It's a positive outlet for some emotions that are not necessarily always positive.

It's also a challenge to myself.  One of my goals for 2015 is to "be a bolder Jessica" (it's cheesey I know, but it's also an easy way to remember all that I'm trying to do).  As in courageous, unhesitating, beyond the usual limits, and daring.  Typically, I tend to be the meekest version of myself that I can get away with.  But that doesn't seem to be working too much anymore, because if I want to live my life with intention and according to my priorities (which is my big picture plan), I have to be more assertive with who I am and what's important to me.  No more shrinking violet.  It's kind of terrifying, I have all kinds of shyness, social and performance anxieties, and I'm strongly introverted.  So openly expressing myself to ANYONE does not come easily or naturally.  But this is an attempt to try it.  See what happens.  It's still somewhat anonymous, and not lost on my that I'm doing this on the internet, which isn't exactly the boldest of being bold.  But I feel like this is a step in a long process of what will mostly be baby steps.  But at least I'm trying.

Also, it's my hope that this page is another step towards building my self confidence.  It's not something I created for other people at all, it's for me.  I pick the images I want to share on their, I take the types of photos that I like, I edit them however I see fit.  And then I tell myself it's good.  And hopefully over time I believe myself when I say those words.