Self Portrait: Setting

So back to working on self portraits.  I'm really struggling with this.  I don't really like any of them so far.  But I keep trying.  I think the problem is that I don't really know what it is I'm trying to "get."  I don't have a vision for how this should work.  I just come up with an idea because I think it's different or worth trying out, take a few shots and hope one of them will be magical.  But usually they aren't.  Sad face.  I'm not sure at this point if I should keep trying, push through and hope I'll eventually realize what it is I'm trying to accomplish (and maybe how to accomplish it as well), or if I should give up, take a long break, wait for inspiration to strike me when I least expect it?  The connection between this lack of success and my own sense of self is not lost on me though.  I think that's why I feel the need to push on.  What I mean is that when I take a picture of other people, I'm happy with it, but of myself... not so much.  Part of it is the "picture taking" aspect (getting it in focus, good framing and composition, right exposure, etc), but a bigger part is the "self as subject" aspect (being comfortable and natural when I know the camera is on me so that something about "me" can show through).  So now I feel like this self portrait project has become a microcosm for some part of my own self esteem.  Maybe if I can get comfortable enough to take and accept a good picture of myself I will have conquered some of those self conscious demons I have (don't we all?)  At this point I think the only success I've had with trying to take a portrait of myself that's a good picture as well as vulnerable and revealing is the fact that I've had the courage to post any of this pictures on my blog at all (where people might see them... gasp).  Anyway, those are my random ramblings.

And now here are my most recent attempts.  Beautiful location, but I look very uncomfortable and awkward.  So overall they seem kind of blah.

I wanted to try a full body picture, but I couldn't really figure out a good standing position.  Like, what should I do with my hands?  Maybe hold a coffee mug in each (for you 30 Rock fans).

A more candid style shot... like I don't know the camera is there.  I just happen to be sitting on the soaking wet ground under this tree... totally natural.