This running thing

Just wanted to share what motivates me.  It's NOT someone yelling at me and telling me that I can't do something, or I'm not doing it well enough so I need to try harder.  I know a lot of people feel motivated by that (to prove someone wrong), but I don't.  I just completely shut down.  It didn't work while I was learning piano and it definitely doesn't work when I exercise.  I need encouragement and sense of accomplishment.  So instead of "Come on I know you can do this, you just need to try harder" I need "wow, look at all you've already done, great job!"  And then I'll work harder, and I'll push myself...  So here is what runs through my mind as I'm running these days...

First off, my goals:

-Most important is that I want to be healthy.  After putting on a big amount of weight very suddenly while pregnant (which I know is normal and fine), I realized that I do NOT like the way I feel when I'm carrying extra weight.  Everything hurts, everything is hard, it's miserable.  So I want to stay at a healthy weight.  Which is not to say that I want to be skinny.  I"m perfectly fine being just healthy.

-I want to run a half marathon.  A full one just seems crazy, and hard.  TOO hard.  I have no desire to go through that.  At least not at this point in my life.  But a half?  I could do that.  Not this year though...  This year I want to try for a 20k.  Why?  Well it's only about a half mile difference, but the 20k is NOT a half marathon.  So I will leave that goal unaccomplished this year, meaning I will have to keep working on it for next year.  Hopefully this will keep me running over the winter.  That's the plan anyway.

My method:

-Put on my shoes and move for 30 mins, 3 times a week.  That's my expectation for my "runs."  It takes a lot of pressure off of me if I don't have outrageous expectations before I even start something.  And usually what ends up happening is this "Man, I'm tired today, but I know I have time to get on the treadmill right now, so I will.  I'll probably just walk though, which is fine, because that's better than nothing. [gets running gear on and starts treadmill]  Well, since I'm here I may as well use this time efficiently and do a little running...  oh you know what I feel pretty good, maybe I'll run a little harder." And I do.

-Slow and steady.  I have no desire to be fast at this point.  I just want to be able to run for a long time without walking.  So slow and steady it is.  If I feel good I'll pick up my pace for as long as I can, if I feel tired I drop it down until I recover.  No judgement.

-Think about what I'm doing.  Boredom is an issue for running, especially on the treadmill.  But I have YEARS of experience with trying to perfect small muscle movements over intense practice periods (hello 3 hours piano practice sessions).  So I just do the same thing while i run.  Think about  my stride, how my feet are hitting, are my shoulders tense (always), how's my pace, maybe if I adjust this muscle things will feel better, now try this, or maybe I need to relax my neck, go through all the things I can think of and when I'm done, start over again.

-Very small pushes when I am capable.  If I feel good, I run a little longer, or harder and fast.  I tell myself "dig deep and push harder."  I think of how good I'll feel when I reach my small goal.  The other day I ran with the treadmill set to 7.0 miles per hour for 30 seconds at the very end of my run (instead of slowing down).  It was hard, but I felt great.

Inspirations:

-Runners in general.  After Dylan was born, I started running to lose baby weight (despite nursing for a year, apparently that doesn't cause weight to just fall off for everyone) and now I'm in the same boat after having Aaron.  The reason I picked running... well, have you every seen runners?  They are skinny.  I figured it must be because running helps you lose weight, and lots of it.  Also, I didn't need to join on a gym, or be in a class at a particular time, or invest in a crazy amount of equipment.

-My dad.  He runs more than anyone I know.  Probably more than anyone I know knows.  He does ultra distances, which is plain CRAZY.  SO whenever I get tired or think "how can I possibly run 5 miles?"  I think of my dad, and the fact that he doesn't run marathons because they are "too short."  If my dad can run for 24 hours straight, surely I can manage a pathetic 30 minutes.  Also, he makes me feel okay for being slow.  As long as I just keep running.  And he gives me lots of tips about running in general.

-My friend Melissa.  She had her second baby 6 months after Aaron was born.  And she's running a half next month (wait, this month?)  If she can find time to train and run while her baby is 6 months younger than mine, then I should definitely be able to.  Right?

-This blog.  I went to college with her.  Now I stalk her on her running blog (Hi Katie!).  She is my current running idol because she gives me hope that maybe I can one day be a fast runner like that if I just keep chipping away at this thing.  Well, maybe not just like her, but something close.

And that is how I am slowly turning myself into a runner.