Paranoid Mommy Syndrome
No one really warned me how about how much worrying comes with being a parent. I mean I know you worry about big and general things like "is my kid safe?" and "I hope nothing bad happens to them." But no one told me about the day to day, minute to minute obsessing over things that could be wrong with them, but in the big picture they probably aren't anything worth worrying over.
For instance... from the time Dylan was 2 weeks old, until he was nearly 4 months old he had a persistent diaper rash. I went to the pediatrician numerous times to get every kind of diaper rash medication known to man (then finally stopped going when my pediatrician said "some babies just are so sensitive that they'll have rashes until they're no longer in diapers" soooo comforting), I left him out of his diaper as much as possible (no diaper = no diaper rash). And every diaper change was so stressful, I had to be careful not to wipe too hard, or use anything with soaps and fragrances, then I had to apply all this cream, and I would stress over the fact that nothing seemed to be making a difference. It felt like this was at the front of my mind all day. I felt so bad for him, it looked so painful. But he seemed fine, never cried about it, didn't mind diaper changes at all. It was all just me, and my paranoid mommy syndrome. Eventually though, it did get better. I dont think it was anything I did, I think he just got over it (actually I think it had something to do with the fact that he starting pooping less frequently, but I don't really think people want to read all about his pooping habits so we'll just say it was magic that helped get him better).
Anyway, I am not one to obsess over things, or be paranoid that something as small as a diaper rash means the world is ending. I like to think that worrying is a waste of energy, instead you just do what you need to do to deal with a situation. But when it comes to Dylan, every little thing gets to me. In the past week here are some of the doomsday issues I've had to deal with:
-drool rash (apply some vaseline to it a few times a day and it healed)
-dry skin
-teething pain
-his first cold
Last night I think the teething pain and cold got so strong that he couldn't take it any more. He just started screaming... wouldn't eat, wouldn't sleep. Nothing I did seemed to help. And he was so tired he could hardly even keep his eyes open, but I dont think he was comfortable enough to sleep. I seriously was about 5 minutes away from bringing him to the ER, but decided to give tylenol a try first. But during this whole thing all these terrible thoughts were going through my mind... what if it's an ear infection (and today is thanksgiving so where do I bring him to get checked out)? what if something is bothering him that I can't see (and he can't communicate to me) that is totally unrelated to the cold or teething, but is something serious, what if I put him back in his crib asleep and he can't breathe through his nose (because of congestion) and then for some reason doesn't figure out that he needs to open his mouth to breathe and he stops breathing in the middle of the night and I have no idea? ... and so on. Anyway, fortunately 20 minutes later, he was back to his usual happy, hungry self. Ate and then immediately went to sleep, and all the terrible thoughts went away.
So anyway, I didn't really end up getting much sleep last night. Then this morning he woke up 2 hours earlier than usual. I tried to get him to go back to sleep, but no luck. So I made myself some coffee and put in Jeff Tweedy's concert dvd while he played on the floor. Fortunately he's taking a nap now, but I couldnt go back to sleep (thanks to the coffee), so I'm just finishing watching the dvd. It reminds me of my pregnant sleepless nights when I would wake up at like 2am with nasty heartburn. I'd come downstairs pour myself a little glass of milk, pop in this dvd and fall asleep on the couch.
For instance... from the time Dylan was 2 weeks old, until he was nearly 4 months old he had a persistent diaper rash. I went to the pediatrician numerous times to get every kind of diaper rash medication known to man (then finally stopped going when my pediatrician said "some babies just are so sensitive that they'll have rashes until they're no longer in diapers" soooo comforting), I left him out of his diaper as much as possible (no diaper = no diaper rash). And every diaper change was so stressful, I had to be careful not to wipe too hard, or use anything with soaps and fragrances, then I had to apply all this cream, and I would stress over the fact that nothing seemed to be making a difference. It felt like this was at the front of my mind all day. I felt so bad for him, it looked so painful. But he seemed fine, never cried about it, didn't mind diaper changes at all. It was all just me, and my paranoid mommy syndrome. Eventually though, it did get better. I dont think it was anything I did, I think he just got over it (actually I think it had something to do with the fact that he starting pooping less frequently, but I don't really think people want to read all about his pooping habits so we'll just say it was magic that helped get him better).
Anyway, I am not one to obsess over things, or be paranoid that something as small as a diaper rash means the world is ending. I like to think that worrying is a waste of energy, instead you just do what you need to do to deal with a situation. But when it comes to Dylan, every little thing gets to me. In the past week here are some of the doomsday issues I've had to deal with:
-drool rash (apply some vaseline to it a few times a day and it healed)
-dry skin
-teething pain
-his first cold
Last night I think the teething pain and cold got so strong that he couldn't take it any more. He just started screaming... wouldn't eat, wouldn't sleep. Nothing I did seemed to help. And he was so tired he could hardly even keep his eyes open, but I dont think he was comfortable enough to sleep. I seriously was about 5 minutes away from bringing him to the ER, but decided to give tylenol a try first. But during this whole thing all these terrible thoughts were going through my mind... what if it's an ear infection (and today is thanksgiving so where do I bring him to get checked out)? what if something is bothering him that I can't see (and he can't communicate to me) that is totally unrelated to the cold or teething, but is something serious, what if I put him back in his crib asleep and he can't breathe through his nose (because of congestion) and then for some reason doesn't figure out that he needs to open his mouth to breathe and he stops breathing in the middle of the night and I have no idea? ... and so on. Anyway, fortunately 20 minutes later, he was back to his usual happy, hungry self. Ate and then immediately went to sleep, and all the terrible thoughts went away.
So anyway, I didn't really end up getting much sleep last night. Then this morning he woke up 2 hours earlier than usual. I tried to get him to go back to sleep, but no luck. So I made myself some coffee and put in Jeff Tweedy's concert dvd while he played on the floor. Fortunately he's taking a nap now, but I couldnt go back to sleep (thanks to the coffee), so I'm just finishing watching the dvd. It reminds me of my pregnant sleepless nights when I would wake up at like 2am with nasty heartburn. I'd come downstairs pour myself a little glass of milk, pop in this dvd and fall asleep on the couch.
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