I miss sleep
I've never really considered myself a High Energy Person. I'm not one of those people who is always perky and bubbly and on the go. On a nice sunny day I prefer staying in and reading a book or practicing piano, after a long day I need a long amount of sleep to recover, overall I have a fairly mellow disposition. Part of me used to think that meant I was a lazy person, but then a good friend of mine said that I wasn't lazy, I was just more mentally active than physically active. I really like that description of me, so I have learned to accept my low-key personality over the past few years, rather than think that if I'm not constantly on the go, something is wrong with me.
That being said... taking care of a baby is very taxing on me. Dylan is constantly on the go. I feel like at this point, the older he gets, the more exhausted I'm going to be. He's not even crawling yet, but he rolls all over the place and has been getting very interested in whatever objects he can get his hands on. He doesn't like to stay in one place for much longer than 10 minutes and I need to constantly be next to him to keep him from getting into some kind of trouble. I realize that this is something every parent goes through, and it's really fine. I dont mind playing on the floor with him all day. The problem is that he is turning into a terrible sleeper. I think he's getting all the sleep he needs, but I am not getting anywhere near the amount of sleep I need. I keep thinking that any day now he'll learn to sleep through the night, but after talking with people who have older children, I'm beginning to lose hope. And I really don't mind getting up once or twice during the night if I know that he'll take good naps during the day so that I can relax a little then, but he's stopped taking good naps lately. So I haven't been getting my downtime to relax, or even to do things like the laundry. I've even stopped going out during potential nap times so that I can make sure I'm able to at least sit and relax during his short naps, even if it's just for 20 minutes. The fact that there seems to be no end in sight is really starting to get to me. How am I going to manage once he's really mobile? Being a mom is hard.
I dont mean to complain so much, because of course I love my little boy more than I thought I could, and he is a lot of fun now. He laughs at pretty much anything that moves, which is adorable. And he's a really good baby. At least he's not miserable and cranky all day (even if I am some days). It's so weird because there are times when I get so frustrated, but he has no idea, and he'll just give me this huge smile which makes it so hard to stay in a bad mood. It's like his super power.
Needless to say, I certainly dont take sleep for granted anymore.
That being said... taking care of a baby is very taxing on me. Dylan is constantly on the go. I feel like at this point, the older he gets, the more exhausted I'm going to be. He's not even crawling yet, but he rolls all over the place and has been getting very interested in whatever objects he can get his hands on. He doesn't like to stay in one place for much longer than 10 minutes and I need to constantly be next to him to keep him from getting into some kind of trouble. I realize that this is something every parent goes through, and it's really fine. I dont mind playing on the floor with him all day. The problem is that he is turning into a terrible sleeper. I think he's getting all the sleep he needs, but I am not getting anywhere near the amount of sleep I need. I keep thinking that any day now he'll learn to sleep through the night, but after talking with people who have older children, I'm beginning to lose hope. And I really don't mind getting up once or twice during the night if I know that he'll take good naps during the day so that I can relax a little then, but he's stopped taking good naps lately. So I haven't been getting my downtime to relax, or even to do things like the laundry. I've even stopped going out during potential nap times so that I can make sure I'm able to at least sit and relax during his short naps, even if it's just for 20 minutes. The fact that there seems to be no end in sight is really starting to get to me. How am I going to manage once he's really mobile? Being a mom is hard.
I dont mean to complain so much, because of course I love my little boy more than I thought I could, and he is a lot of fun now. He laughs at pretty much anything that moves, which is adorable. And he's a really good baby. At least he's not miserable and cranky all day (even if I am some days). It's so weird because there are times when I get so frustrated, but he has no idea, and he'll just give me this huge smile which makes it so hard to stay in a bad mood. It's like his super power.
Needless to say, I certainly dont take sleep for granted anymore.
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