Where Has All the Winter Gone?

Okay, so talk about a mild winter... I think I've gone without a jacket more often in January than ever in my life. What happened to cold snowy weather this time of year? Not that I miss the cold part, but I do miss the snow. And I'm sure my dog misses it too.

So my patience is totally being tested right now. I think of myself as a very patient and calm person, but lately I've been stretched thin, which is just causing frustration all around. So the reason my blogs have been a little on the lame side lately is because I wasnt writing about going back to school which is what has been occupying about 90% of my thoughts, obviously the other 10% arent that interesting. I have been trying to wait until I actually get accepted because I dont want to get my hopes up too high and then find out I wasnt accepted, but really I'm just going crazy now, so I'm writing about it.

I sent in all of my application materials in the beginning of November. I know the school recieved them all because I got an email (on Nov. 8th) saying so. And I also know that the school admits people on a rolling basis (the final deadline for applications isnt until Feb 1st, so I'm way ahead of that), so I was thinking that I'd find out within maybe a month or two. Well now it's been 2 months and 16 days and I havent heard a thing. Everyday I anxiously check the mail and go through every single thing in the mailbox before I even walk back to the house, the whole time thinking "maybe I'll find out today... I hope so, because I cant take much more suspense." And every day... nothing. I even emailed the school to ask if they could give me an estimate as to how long the process might take... and I havent even heard anything back from that. I'm starting to go nuts... someone said I might have to wait until April when all the other applicants find out... no chance I'll last that long, no chance.

The reason it's driving me crazy is because my entire future is resting on this acceptance. If I get in, great, everything will work out! If not, I have no clue what to do with my life. No Clue. There isnt really much of a Plan B at this point (other than to keep teaching piano). But at least if I get my reply I know whether or not I need to come up with a plan B. Ugh, this is so frustrating.

Oh so I should probably mention what I'm trying to go to school for. Well you see, even as an undergrad music student, I knew that I would one day go to grad school, I jsut had no clue what I would go for. Not because I didnt have the interest, but just because I wasnt entirely sure which interest to go for. I knew it would be music related, and probably along the line of musicology (which is either music history or music theory). But when I researched jobs for either of those fields, I wasnt too excited... basically you teach college level theory or history. Or you write books. I mean, either of those are okay, but for whatever reason I didnt get excited about them. (wait until you hear what I did get excited about)...

So after I graduated I started teaching, which is something I really enjoy doing, but I knew that I wanted to do something more eventually. The truth is that teaching really doesnt tap into my the areas I have the most knowledge about or interest in. I mean, to an extent. But I think it's kind of like being a writer and then choosing a career in which you spend all your time teaching kids to read sentences like "I am happy." Of course teaching kids is rewarding, and sharing my knowledge with them is fun, but I definitely miss a lot of the higher level stuff. Though every once and a while, I'll teach something very simple like a V7 chord (the lesson should go like this "a V7 chord in the key of C is played like this." end of lesson) and instead I'll spend 15 minutes explaining the theory of where the V7 chord comes from, it's function within music, and the history of how harmony came about (and the fact taht western music is the only music that uses harmony as a primary function in music). And while all of this is very interesting, I have a feeling that it goes right over a 5 year old's head. But I cant help myself. So I've been trying to find a career in which that kind of knowledge is required and used.

Of course one of the other problems is that there arent many jobs within the music field that pay enough for it to make grad school worthwhile, and this was something i took into consideration, especially since it costs so much to live in this area. But money isnt my main motiviation (obviously), however, I do think that if I go to grad school it should be because the degree I get will allow me to accept jobs that I wouldnt even be considered for without a degree. For example, a lot of people wanted me to get a Piano Pedagogy masters. What for? None of the parents I have worked would care if I had a masters or not. It certainly isnt a requirement (neither is a bachelor's degree, but I thin it at least gives you some validity). I mean, obviously I can teach piano without it, because I am. So that wasnt really something I was interested in (not to mention the reasons listed above.)

I did have a friend in college that tried to convince me to go to library school, which I have to admit (sorry Tuba) I thought was crazy and pointless... at first. Until one day, while looking for a part time job during the summer (another drawback of being a piano teacher... you make almost nothing during the summer), I stumbled upon an job ad for the Kennedy Center. They were looking for an assistant music librarian. Someone to help with preparing, organizing, and editing music for the NSO. You needed strong theory and history skills, as well as organizational skills. PERFECT! Unfortunately the day I found the job, was 1 day past the date they were accepting applications. Well I applied anyway figuring it couldnt hurt, and of course they told me I couldnt be considered because it was past the deadline. Their loss, I would ahve been awesome at that job. A few days later I noticed they were advertising for a Head Music Librarian to work with the Opera. i would have loved to apply for that job, except I didnt have anywhere near the amount of experience needed, and most important of all, I didnt have a Masters in Library Science. But I took this as a sign, or nudge, to check into the field a little more.

And finally I had found a job that really interested me. And the more I researched, the more interested I became... and the more I found out that an MLS is absolutely necessary for any of the jobs, in fact for ANY librarian job (other than aides). I thought this was crazy (and still kind of do) because I just dont see how the job can be so hard that it requires a masters degree, but I'll probably find out why soon enough. So I decided that this would be a good move for me, and began looking into schools.

So after a LOT of research, I found out that the state of Virginia doesnt have an MLS program ANYWHERE. However, the University of Maryland does, and so does Catholic University. In fact, Catholic University has a program specifically for music librarians. Unfortunately it's a double masters, which requires twice the work, and twice the tuition. So I wasnt too crazy about that. AND since VA doesnt have the program, I actually can go to UMD and get in-state tuition. So that made my decision easier. Plus I found out that I can still go specifically for music libraries, it just wont say it exactly on my degree (it's considered Special Libraries), but I think I can take some classes at Catholic because of the consortium between some DC area colleges (and I'd only have to pay MD tuition for them). Everything came together really nicely, better than I could have planned. So I applied. That was November.

Now I wait... and wait... and wait... and wait... and I just want to find out what is going to happen. Because if I get in, I will start classes this summer. Which means I need to figure out what to do with my piano students (I still plan on teaching, but probably not as much). But if I dont get in, like I said, I have no clue what I'm going to do. I'm pretty confident that I will get accepted though. I mean, I was a really good student in undergrad, and I had some really great letters of recommendation (a great self-image booster if you ever need one), and I turned it all in ahead of the deadline. It seems like it should be an easy decision. So I cant understand why it's taking so long. But the longer I wait, the more nervous I get.

So this is why my patience is thin. I just came back from checking the mail. nothing again. Maybe tomorrow...

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